Glittering Emotion
by Tsuyunoinochi Koukyo
Summary: When a cherished member of the gang we all now and love dies, the rest of the team goes into denial mode. Previously posted, but I wanted to let everyone know that there was a second chapter. Finished!
1. Chapter 1

**_ Glittering Emotion_**

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It all happened so fast. Zell and Irvine were swimming, and I was overlooking them from a few feet away, training against a tree that I had chosen to be 'Seifer.' Then I heard the screams. When I looked over, it was only Selphie jumping gleefully into the water. Then there were gunshots. It was only Irvine shooting blanks at a dead tree. There were shouts of impatience and annoyance as Quistis and Rinoa leapt in the water to join the three, and then the noise of them shouting at me to join them. The next noise, and all the noises after them I ignored, knowing they were just childish things that weren't important. I drown out Zell's angry shouts and the splashing of water with the clang of my sword hitting the tree repeatedly. It helped to calm my thoughts and to sort them out slowly. One last swing. Someone was still screaming, and screaming rather loud. I looked over, but it was only Selphie.

Zell was being shoved under the water by Irvine and Selphie, and Quistis was cheering. Rinoa had strayed away form the group and was napping a few feet away form me.

I frowned and began to swing at the tree some more, feeling my anger freeze and disappear slowly as more and more energy was pilfered.

I was about to get ready to leave when Selphie called my name.

"Squall!" She called. Her voice sounded shrill and scared. "Squall!"

I ignored her, sensing a useless request behind the calling of my name.

"Squall!" Now Quistis was calling me, her voice more shrill and high-pitched than Selphie's normal tone. I was about to turn around, but I realized they were most likely to throw water in my face and laugh at my defenseless posture and soaking face. I shrugged meaninglessly and walked over to Rinoa, preparing to wake her for our walk home.

"SQUALL!" Irvine called impatiently.

"Shut u-" I started to say, but I was interrupted by Irvine's next few words.

"He's not breathing!"

That snapped me to attention. I shut my mouth, which had been frozen in mid-sentence when I had been interrupted.

"He what?" I looked, alarmed, down at my friend's unmoving body. I ran down to him, not looking once back at Rinoa and the uncomfortable looking position she had taken on the rocks near me.

Somehow I knew…that he was dead. I knew from the way his chest had stopped moving and from the way his head was positioned oddly that he was dead and that he wasn't coming back.

When I finally diagnosed him almost an hour later, after doing everything in my limited power to bring him back, there was a lot of crying, as was expected of such a close friend. Of course, none of the crying was done by me, but by everyone else. Our now dearly departed friend was gone, and he wasn't ever, ever coming back. We have to face reality someday, do we not?

**Author's note: Wow. That was really intense. Sorry if this sucked big time, but this is my first try at an unrevealing fic, y'know, the one where you don't tell the reader who died or what's really going on? Yeah, whatever. Okay, please RR and tell me if you think there should be an additional chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Glittering Emotion_**

_**Chapter 2: Vivid Memories**_

The entire school held a reasonably sizable funeral for our departed friend. I attended, but I felt nothing. The fact that my friend's death meant essentially nothing to me saddened me, for before his death he had a conciderably big part in my life, though he never would have known it. Even if I would have told him, he would have thought I was drunk or half asleep. But really...I cared for him. That night, I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing, saying nothing, feeling nothing.

I had no regrets. It wasn't my fault. I didn't kill him. The only relation I had to the accident was standing a few feet away, training. It wasn't my fault...or was it?

I quickly pushed the thought out of my mind. I didn't do any of this. But then I began to think about Zell, the poor deceased ex-Garden student. When he was alive, I had expressed nothing for him, done nothing for him. And now he was gone.

_Did I feel anything for him? Anything friendly? Anything at all?_

He was **their** best friend. Theirs. I barely knew him.

_It's funny...I've been with him since we were children, and still we weren't friends. It's sad at how the world passes us by..._

I began to think about Zell and how it would be so quiet with him gone, erased forever from our world.

I thought about when I first met him, when I thought he was always loud and rowdy. How I thought he wasn't worth my time, that he was...beneath me.

How I thought he could never, would never, settle down or find his purpose in life.

_I **thought.** It's always "I thought." Can one go through life without thinking a false thought? Can one be truely spontaneous in asking honest questions, recieving honest answers, and never thinking anything false about the whole process?_

I answered my own questions a moment later.

_These...these "I thought" words and phrases should be worded and said instead of hanging in the back of one's mind...until it's too late. It's already too late for me, but...but it's not too late for others! They need to know! They need to know before it's too late for them, too!_

I frowned.

"What is all this about false thoughts? Why am I thinking about this? False dreams, false hopes, false thoughts, false feelings...if my life were to be explained to anyone, anywhere, those words would be the most frequently used." I told myself. In my heart though, wherever it may be, I knew, deep down, that something was still wrong. Still missing.

_What a foolish child I was. I thought Elle would come back. She never did. I thought my parnts, whoever they are, would come back and get me, take me away from the orphanedge. No one ever did._

_Face it , Squall. Elle never came back. Your parents never came back. And now, Zell isn't coming back either. All because you were too stubborn to go and stop the foolishness. Your messup. Someone died today, Squall. Don't you get it?)_

I couldn't take it anymore. The tears began to show before I could shield or stop them.

I cried long and hard. No one was going to bother me. I had to live out my depression alone. By myself. For Zell's sake.

**Author's Note: Wow. this took a long time to post! It would have been up sooner...did my 8th grade computers have Microsoft Word on them! It's the second semester of my 9th grade year and we finally have MW!!! So now this is posted, and now this is complete. Unless of course someone begs me for another chapter, then I'll try my best to do that. But I do have a lot of other things to work on, so that might not be for a while.**

**Anyway, so I have a revision for my story 'Lost Tears' that I'm working on right now...and I'd like to redo 'Emotionless' too. And I have another FF8 songfic using Camui Gackt's song UK. I also have like 3 chapters of my VC Andrews story coming, and Battle of the Vampyres should be updated soon, too. My Pretear story threshold isn't growing at the moment, I'm stil thinking of how to make Mind Forest into a songfic. On another FF8 note, the prelude to BotV (Battle of the Vampyres) should be up in at least 4 or 5 months, if that. My written form of Pretear is almost done (yay!) and might be up in the next week, and then episode 2 will be started. I have a few original stories I'm currently working on and about 5 other FF8 fics that as of now have no name. I'm gathering translations for more assorted songfics, and hopefully soon I can post one of them. Alright, and on a final note my story 'Till the End of Time' will be postponed for a while until I can find a reasonable amount of time and my written copy of it. Alright, well it's off to work! See ya, and please review! (I actually liked the way I wrote this chapter, so I REALLY want feedback!!!)**


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